第十八章（第2/10页）

“为什么？跟那男人难舍难离？好吧！孩子，你要是想听我明言，我就不妨打开天窗说亮话。世界日新月异。但拉格比现在将来都会始终屹立不摇。这世上总有些东西无法变更，我们必须调整自己，努力适应它，至少做好表面工作。我个人的意见是，私下里我们大可以随心所欲。感情的事常换常新。你即便朝秦暮楚也没问题。可拉格比却将存在下去。只要拉格比愿意接纳你，你就不应背弃它。在此前提下，完全可以及时行乐。可若当真一拍两散，对你没有什么好处。你要是愿意，一刀两断也可以。你有独立的经济来源，完全可以靠此过活。可你这样做实在有些不值。给拉格比生个小从男爵吧。这未尝不是件有趣的事情。”马尔科姆爵士靠向椅背，再度露出微笑。康妮并未作答。

"I hope you had a real man at last," he said to her after a while, sensually alert.

“希望你碰到了真正的男子汉。”过了一会儿，他对女儿说，一副人老心不老的活泼劲儿。

"I did. That's the trouble. There aren't many of them about," she said.

“我碰到的确实是。这正是让我苦恼的地方。世间的男子汉实在是凤毛麟角。”她说。

"No, by God!" he mused.

“没错，天呢！”他沉思片刻。

"There aren't! Well, my dear, to look at you, he was a lucky man. Surely he wouldn't make trouble for you?” "Oh no! He leaves me my own mistress entirely." "Quite! Quite! A genuine man would." Sir Malcolm was pleased. Connie was his favourite daughter, he had always liked the female in her. Not so much of her mother in her as in Hilda. And he had always disliked Clifford. So he was pleased, and very tender with his daughter, as if the unborn child were his child.

“的确如此！哦，亲爱的，看看你牵肠挂肚的模样，他的确是个幸运的家伙。他自然不会给你惹什么麻烦把？”“噢，没有！他让我自己拿主意。”“那是当然！那是当然！这正是大丈夫所为。”马尔科姆爵士兴高采烈。康妮是他最宠爱的女儿，他喜欢她身上的女人味。她不像希尔达，继承了太多母亲的特质。他也从来没青睐过克利福德。这正是他兴高采烈的原因，而且他无微不至地关怀着女儿，简直比孩子的父亲还要尽责。

He drove with her to Hartland's hotel, and saw her installed: then went round to his club. She had refused his company for the evening.

他开车送她去哈特兰饭店，等她安顿好一切，才返回俱乐部。她告诉父亲，晚上不用来陪她。

She found a letter from Mellors.

她收到梅勒斯的信。

I won't come round to your hotel, but I'll wait for you outside the Golden Cock in Adam Street at seven. There he stood, tall and slender, and so different, in a formal suit of thin dark cloth. He had a natural distinction, but he had not the cut-to-pattern look of her class. Yet, she saw at once, he could go anywhere. He had a native breeding which was really much nicer than the cut-to-pattern class thing.

我不想去饭店，晚上七点，我会在亚当街的金鸡咖啡馆门口等你。他果真站在那儿，依旧高挑修长，而身着黑色薄西服，让他与以往判若两人。他有一种自然的超凡脱俗的气质，却不像贵族阶层的人们那样千篇一律。但她早就看出，他绝非池中之物。他那种与生俱来的涵养，比起那种惺惺作态的仪表，实在胜强百倍。

"Ah, there you are! How well you look!" "Yes! But not you." She looked in his face anxiously. It was thin, and the cheekbones showed. But his eyes smiled at her, and she felt at home with him. There it was: suddenly, the tension of keeping up her appearances fell from her. Something flowed out of him physically, that made her feel inwardly at ease and happy, at home. With a woman's now alert instinct for happiness, she registered it at once. "I'm happy when he's there!” Not all the sunshine of Venice had given her this inward expansion and warmth.

“啊，你来了！气色不错呀！”“是啊！可你看上去不太好。”她心疼地望着他的脸庞。他消瘦许多，颧骨向外凸出。但看到她，他的眼睛仍流露出笑意，和他在一起，她感到无拘无束。正因为此，她紧绷着的面孔突然间松弛下来。某种男子的气魄从他身上散发出来，让她发自内心地感觉轻松愉快，安然自得。凭借女性追求幸福的敏锐本能，她立即产生这样的感想。“因为有他在，我才是幸福的！”任威尼斯的阳光怎样灿烂，都无法让她的心感到宽慰和温暖。

"Was it horrid for you?" she asked as she sat opposite him at table.

“那件事还让你后怕吧？”她跟他隔桌而坐，问道。

He was too thin; she saw it now. His hand lay as she knew it, with the curious loose forgottenness of a sleeping animal. She wanted so much to take it and kiss it. But she did not quite dare.

他瘦得有些脱相，这时她才看得真切。他仍像过去一样，像头熟睡的野兽，将手随意地搁在桌上，好像已经将它遗忘。她多想将它握住，亲吻它。但却没有那样的胆量。

"People are always horrid," he said.

“人言可畏呀。”他说。

"And did you mind very much?" "I minded, as I always shall mind. And I knew I was a fool to mind." "Did you feel like a dog with a tin can tied to its tail? Clifford said you felt like that." He looked at her. It was cruel of her at that moment: for his pride had suffered bitterly.

“你很在意那些风言风语么？”“我在意，我的个性就是如此。虽说我也明白，这样无异于犯傻。”“你感觉自己像条尾巴上拴着锡罐的野狗吗？克利福德说你的感觉很像。”他望着她。此时此刻，她说出这样的话实在有些残忍，因为他的自尊心受到极大的摧残。

"I suppose I did," he said.

“应该是吧。”他说。

She never knew the fierce bitterness with which he resented insult.

她无法察觉，他对这样的侮辱是如何地深恶痛绝。

There was a long pause.

好一会儿没人做声。

"And did you miss me?" she asked.

“你想念我吗？”她问。

"I was glad you were out of it."

“你没有牵扯其中，我深感庆幸。”

Again there was a pause.

又是一阵沉默。

"But did people believe about you and me?" she asked.

“可大家相信关于你我的传闻吗？”她问。

"No! I don't think so for a moment.”

“不！至少现在还不会。”

"Did Clifford?" "I should say not. He put it off without thinking about it. But naturally it made him want to see the last of me." "I'm going to have a child.” The expression died utterly out of his face, out of his whole body. He looked at her with darkened eyes, whose look she could not understand at all: like some dark-flamed spirit looking at her.