第十九章（第2/9页）

她渐渐对克利福德失去耐心。只要头脑清醒，任何男人都会清楚自己的妻子已经爱上别人，将要弃他而去。当然，她也晓得，其实克利福德心里如同明镜一般，只是不愿向自己承认而已。如果他早点承认现实，早些做好准备，或者积极行动起来，尽量避免这种情况的发生，那样做才像是大丈夫所为。但他恰恰相反！他心里比谁都明白，却总在欺哄自己，说事实并非如此。

He felt the devil twisting his tail, and pretended it was the angels smiling on him. This state of falsity had now brought on that crisis of falsity and dislocation, hysteria, which is a form of insanity. "It comes", she thought to herself, hating him a little, "because he always thinks of himself. He's so wrapped up in his own immortal self, that when he does get a shock he's like a mummy tangled in its own bandages. Look at him!” But hysteria is dangerous: and she was a nurse, it was her duty to pull him out. Any attempt to rouse his manhood and his pride would only make him worse: for his manhood was dead, temporarily if not finally. He would only squirm softer and softer, like a worm, and become more dislocated.

他清楚恶魔已经翘起尾巴，却假装是天使在朝他微笑。如今，他的伪善终于引发了危机，造成无法挽回的混乱局面，陷入了歇斯底里，近似癫狂的精神状态。“该来的总会来，”她心里恨恨地想，“因为他只想着自己。他全身心沉浸在不朽的自我意识中，而遭遇重创时，他就像个木乃伊，将自己紧紧裹在绷带里。看看他那副德行！”但这种狂躁的癔病终归是危险的，既然她扮演着看护的角色，就有责任帮他渡过难关。试图激起他的丈夫气概和自尊心，只会让情况变得更糟。因为他的男子气概早已丧失殆尽，即使并非永久消失，至少现在半点也看不出。他只会像只虫子，不停地蠕动，越变越软，情况则会变得更加无法收拾。

The only thing was to release his self-pity. Like the lady in Tennyson, he must weep or he must die.

唯一的办法就是让他释放出自怜的情感。就像丁尼生（注：1809-1892，英国诗人）笔下的贵妇，要么痛快哭一场，要么干脆活不成。

So Mrs. Bolton began to weep first. She covered her face with her hand and burst into little wild sobs. "I would never have believed it of her ladyship, I wouldn't!” She wept, suddenly summoning up all her old grief and sense of woe, and weeping the tears of her own bitter chagrin. Once she started, her weeping was genuine enough, for she had had something to weep for.

拿定主意，博尔顿太太自己先掉下泪来。她只手掩面，呜咽起来。“我真没想到夫人能如此绝情，真的无法相信！”她抽泣着，旧日的种种忧伤悲苦瞬间涌上心头，她的泪水为自己的不幸过往而流。一旦抽搭起来，便是如泣如诉，肝肠寸断，因为她确有悲切的理由。

Clifford thought of the way he had been betrayed by the woman Connie, and in a contagion of grief, tears filled his eyes and began to run down his cheeks. He was weeping for himself. Mrs. Bolton, as soon as she saw the tears running over his blank face, hastily wiped her own wet cheeks on her little handkerchief, and leaned towards him.

想起自己如何被那个叫做康妮的婆娘背弃，又被博尔顿太太的哀伤情绪所感染，克利福德不禁泪水盈满眼眶，扑簌簌顺着脸颊滑落。他是为自己而哭泣。一见到泪水从他那失神的脸上滚落，博尔顿太太连忙抄起小手帕，拭干自己的眼泪，靠过去安慰克利福德。

"Now, don't you fret, Sir Clifford!” She said, in a luxury of emotion. "Now, don't you fret, don't, you'll only do yourself an injury!” His body shivered suddenly in an indrawn breath of silent sobbing, and the tears ran quicker down his face. She laid her hand on his arm, and her own tears fell again. Again the shiver went through him, like a convulsion, and she laid her arm round his shoulder. "There, there! There, there! Don't you fret, then, don't you! Don't you fret!" she moaned to him, while her own tears fell.

“别难过了，克利福德爵士！”她满怀深情地劝慰道。“别难过了，这样下去，只会伤了自己的身子！”他深吸一口气，忍住悲声，身体颤抖起来，泪水流得更急了。她揽住他的臂膀，陪着他一起落泪。战栗再度传遍他的身体，如同痉挛一般，她搂住他的肩膀。“好啦，好啦！好啦，好啦！别难过了，好吗？别再难过了！”她边哭，边悲切地劝慰着他。

And she drew him to her, and held her arms round his great shoulders, while he laid his face on her bosom and sobbed, shaking and hulking his huge shoulders, whilst she softly stroked his dusky blond hair and said: "There! There! There! There then! There then! Never you mind! Never you mind, then!" And he put his arms round her and clung to her like a child, wetting the bib of her starched white apron, and the bosom of her pale blue cotton dress, with his tears. He had let himself go altogether, at last.

然后，她将他拉入怀中，两臂抱住他宽厚的双肩，而他将脸埋进她的胸膛，不停抽泣，肩膀颤抖着，起伏着。她轻柔地抚摸着他淡金色的发丝，说：“好啦！好啦！好啦！别伤心了！别伤心了！没关系的！没关系的！”他搂着她，孩子似的依偎在她怀里，她浆硬白围裙的围兜处，还有淡蓝色棉衣的胸口处，全被他的泪水沾湿。他终于彻底释放出自己的情感。

So at length she kissed him, and rocked him on her bosom, and in her heart she said to herself: "Oh, Sir Clifford! Oh, high and mighty Chatterleys! Is this what you've come down to!” And finally he even went to sleep, like a child. And she felt worn out, and went to her own room, where she laughed and cried at once, with a hysteria of her own. It was so ridiculous! It was so awful! Such a comedown! So shameful! And it was so upsetting as well.

过了一会儿，她亲吻着他，摇晃着自己怀里的大男孩，可在心里却暗暗念叨着：“噢，克利福德爵士！噢，趾高气昂的查泰莱家族！你们终于也有今天！”最后，他甚至像个婴孩似的进入梦乡。而她却感觉精疲力竭，回到自己的房间，歇斯底里地又是哭又是笑。太可笑了！太可怕了！他们也有今天的下场！太丢脸了！也太狼狈了！

After this, Clifford became like a child with Mrs. Bolton. He would hold her hand, and rest his head on her breast, and when she once lightly kissed him, he said! "Yes! Do kiss me! Do kiss me!" And when she sponged his great blond body, he would say the same! "Do kiss me!" and she would lightly kiss his body, anywhere, half in mockery.

自打那天后，克利福德和博尔顿太太单独相处时，就变成地道的婴孩。他喜欢握住她的手，把头探进她的怀里，当她送上轻吻，他则会说：“是的！吻我吧！吻我吧！”当她用海绵擦拭着他白皙伟岸的身躯，他也会说同样的话！“吻我吧！”而她则会吻遍他的身体，半带嘲弄地吻着。