第一章（第2/6页）

The two girls, therefore, were from an early age not the least daunted by either art or ideal politics. It was their natural atmosphere. They were at once cosmopolitan and provincial, with the cosmopolitan provincialism of art that goes with pure social ideals.

对于艺术或者理想主义政治，姐妹俩从小就没有半点胆怯之心。她们反倒对此习以为常。她们大气广博，又不失乡土本色，她们那交融着世界性及地方色彩的艺术品味，与纯粹的社会理想相辅相成。

They had been sent to Dresden at the age of fifteen, for music among other things. And they had had a good time there. They lived freely among the students, they argued with the men over philosophical, sociological and artistic matters, they were just as good as the men themselves: only better, since they were women. And they tramped off to the forests with sturdy youths bearing guitars, twang-twang! They sang the Wandervogel songs, and they were free. Free! That was the great word. Out in the open world, out in the forests of the morning, with lusty and splendid-throated young fellows, free to do as they liked, and—above all—to say what they liked. It was the talk that mattered supremely: the impassioned interchange of talk. Love was only a minor accompaniment.

15岁时，她们被送往德累斯顿（注：德国中东部城市），学习音乐和其他知识。她们在那里度过了愉快的时光。学校的生活是那样的无拘无束，她们常与男同学争论哲学、社会学以及艺术方面的问题。姐妹俩的学识丝毫不逊男子，甚至更胜一筹——因为她们是女子。当她们相伴在林间漫步时，同行的英挺少年总会不时拨响随身携带的六弦琴，砰砰作响！高唱起候鸟协会（注：德语，意为候鸟，此处指１19世纪末20世纪初的德国青年运动，倡导摆脱社会的限制，返璞归真，追求自由）的歌谣，如此地自由自在。自由！多么美妙的字眼。在空旷的野外，在清晨的森林，与歌喉动人的欢快少年们自由地做喜欢的事情，尤其是畅所欲言。谈话无疑极为重要，那热情洋溢的交谈。爱情不过是微不足道的陪衬。

Both Hilda and Constance had had their tentative love-affairs by the time they were eighteen. The young men with whom they talked so passionately and sang so lustily and camped under the trees in such freedom wanted, of course, the love connexion. The girls were doubtful, but then the thing was so much talked about, it was supposed to be so important. And the men were so humble and craving. Why couldn't a girl be queenly, and give the gift of herself? So they had given the gift of themselves, each to the youth with whom she had the most subtle and intimate arguments. The arguments, the discussions were the great thing: the love-making and connexion were only a sort of primitive reversion and a bit of an anti-climax. One was less in love with the boy afterwards, and a little inclined to hate him, as if he had trespassed on one's privacy and inner freedom. For, of course, being a girl, one's whole dignity and meaning in life consisted in the achievement of an absolute, a perfect, a pure and noble freedom. What else did a girl's life mean? To shake off the old and sordid connexions and subjections.

希尔达和康斯坦斯均在18岁时初尝爱情的滋味。和她们热烈交谈，纵情欢唱，在树下自由露营的小伙子们自然会对肌肤之亲充满渴望。女孩们起初犹豫未决，但关于此事，双方已经探讨过多次，均认为它如此重要。况且小伙子们又是如此低声下气地渴求。为什么女孩不能如女王施恩一般，将自己赐予对方呢？于是两人都委身于谈论问题时与自己最为交心，关系最为亲密的少年。高谈阔论，据理力争，才是举足轻重之事，而男女之欢不过是种回归原始的行为，甚至有点扫兴。云雨过后，女孩对男孩的爱意反倒减少了，甚至生出些许怨恨，仿佛是他侵犯了自己的私隐，以及内在的自由。因为身为女子，全部的尊严，以及生存的真谛，都自然在于自由的实现，这种自由无可挑剔，尽善尽美，难觅瑕疵，高贵无比。女子的一生除此之外还有什么意义？是摆脱陈腐的、可鄙的交媾和从属关系。

And however one might sentimentalize it, this sex business was one of the most ancient, sordid connexions and subjections. Poets who glorified it were mostly men. Women had always known there was something better, something higher. And now they knew it more definitely than ever. The beautiful pure freedom of a woman was infinitely more wonderful than any sexual love. The only unfortunate thing was that men lagged so far behind women in the matter. They insisted on the sex thing like dogs.

无论被赋予多少浪漫情怀，性事仍是一种古老的、污秽的交合行为和从属关系。歌颂性爱的诗人多是男子。女子却往往深知，世间还存在着更加美好、更加崇高的事物。而如今，这种信念比以往还要明确许多。对于女人而言，完美纯粹的自由如此令人向往，而这是任何性爱都无法企及的。不过糟糕的是，男人对此事的观念依旧停滞落后。他们对性的强烈需求，与兽类无异。

And a woman had to yield. A man was like a child with his appetites. A woman had to yield him what he wanted, or like a child he would probably turn nasty and flounce away and spoil what was a very pleasant connexion. But a woman could yield to a man without yielding her inner, free self. That the poets and talkers about sex did not seem to have taken sufficiently into account. A woman could take a man without really giving herself away. Certainly she could take him without giving herself into his power. Rather she could use this sex thing to have power over him. For she only had to hold herself back in sexual intercourse, and let him finish and expend himself without herself coming to the crisis: and then she could prolong the connexion and achieve her orgasm and her crisis while he was merely her tool.

女子只得委曲求全。男人好似贪嘴的孩童。当女人不肯屈就于他们的欲望时，他们就可能会摆出臭脸，盛怒而去，活脱脱像个孩子，将原本融洽的关系搞得一团糟。但女人就算屈从于男子，仍可以保有心底自由的真我。那些乐谈性事的诗人和谈论者，好像没有对这给予充分说明。即使委身于人，女子仍能不流露自己内心的真实情感，自然也能做到不受对方的掌控。相反，她们甚至可以巧妙地利用性事，将男人玩弄于股掌之中。她们只须在交媾时抑制住自己的情绪，避免高潮的到来，等到对方弹药耗尽、丢盔卸甲后，就可以将欢好时间延长，享受极度的快感，而此时男人扮演的角色只不过是她的纵欲工具。

Both sisters had had their love experience by the time the war came, and they were hurried home. Neither was ever in love with a young man unless he and she were verbally very near: that is unless they were profoundly interested, TALKING to one another. The amazing, the profound, the unbelievable thrill there was in passionately talking to some really clever young man by the hour, resuming day after day for months… this they had never realized till it happened! The paradisal promise: Thou shalt have men to talk to!—had never been uttered. It was fulfilled before they knew what a promise it was.